Pop! Inspired

Pop! Inspired Watches the VMAs 2009

Posted on: September 14, 2009

Sums up the evening quite well.

Sums up the evening quite well. Courtesy of The Daily What.

Mallory and I had a grand old time watching the 2009 VMA’s last night.  We tried to avoid it LIVE but we were sucked in by Kanye’s and Gaga’s ridiculousness. Plus Mad Men and Bridezillas wasn’t doing it for us. So we watched despite our initial protests, we watched despite the fact that we felt super old the entire time and yearned for the past where actual (and good!) music videos played on MTV. Gosh, we even watched most of the encore.

Here are some excerpts of our evening. Warning: Looong, but funny!

On host, Russell Brand:

Mallory: russell brand is also word vomit

Marcy: mallory why is russell brand hosting again

Mallory: i want to drench him in soap. non-sexually.

Marcy: didnt he get like horrible reviews when he hosted the first time

Mallory: yes!!! he offended EVERYONE

Mallory: stfu Russell. he’s the only englishman who’s accent isn’t sexy.

Marcy: oh gosh now hes taking credit for obama

Mallory: russell brand is “british” he didn’t vote

Marcy: hes so fucking loud and obnoxious

 he makes millions of dollars Mallory. millions.

Mallory: life is so unfair

Kanye interrupts Taylor's moment

Kanye interrupts Taylor's moment. Courtesy of the NY Daily News.

On Kanye’s diss of Taylor Swift:

Marcy: yo taylor im really happy for u

Mallory: hahahaha

what an asshole. he just lost his 13-year-old girl audience.

Marcy: kanye made a big mistake messing with taylor swift. what ive learned since following gloriana (who’s her opening act) shes made up of like fairie dust and balloons. everyone loves her.

 

Skip Madonna’s tribute to Madonna (and MJ). Just watch the great tribute by Janet to her brother above.

On Madonna’s “eulogy” before Michael Jackson tribute:

Marcy: im blocking her out. oh gosh she sucks, i cant block her out. she sucks too much

Mallory: they were born on the same day? she lies

Marcy: why is she talking about herself? oh gosh this is horrible

Mallory: so stupid

Marcy: shut it madonna

Mallory: she should’ve stopped at “michael jacksom”

Marcy: just shut it

Mallory: blah blah no one cares

sing celebration

show us your freakish arms

Marcy: they shouldve just shown the tribute

no madonna bs

omg shes still talking

Mallory: this sounds like his wikipedia article

Marcy: hahahaha except facts about herself are thrown in cause shes so awesome

SHUT UP

Mallory: omg

Marcy: omg SHUT UP

Mallory: she tried to have sex with him

Marcy: omg WHY IS SHE STILL TALKING? i feel like she thinks shes brooke shields at his memorial service

Mallory: hahahha yes!

Marcy: WTF is she saying? i hope janet jackson finds her and beats her up

Mallory: then why didn’t you guys do a song together? the 80s would’ve exploded

Marcy: u fell out of touch cause ure a bitch. just guessing

Mallory: yup

Marcy: this is so backfiring on her

horrid omg please shut up

Mallory: madonna, remmeber when you dated a-rod?

Marcy: im going to start crying if u dont stop

please stop

Mallory: remember when you had freakish arms?

Marcy: im also going to start puking

Mallory: madonna has the internet?

Marcy: omg mallory shes not done YET

omg omg omg

omg this vma crowd claps for anything

Mallory: EXCEPT kanye

Marcy: haha yes

Mallory: blah blah blah

 she is so lucky kanye came on

finnnnnnnnnnnnnnnallly

Marcy: that was the longest speech ever cause it sucked

Mallory: unwarranted and insipid

Marcy: luckily the tribute didnt suck

Mallory: that’s b/c no one else spoke

Lady Gaga is gaga. Courtesy of Just Jared.

Lady Gaga is gaga. Courtesy of Just Jared.

On the saga of Lady Gaga:

Mallory: omg poker face

the blood

Marcy: im scared to watch this

what does blood have to do with poker face

Mallory: why is this so dramatic

Marcy: makes no sense

Mallory: oh i get it

phantom of the opera

fallen chandieler

 no i want poker face

sing that

this song is not good without alexander

 it has no use

Marcy: hahaha i know

Mallory: random wheelchair

what’s with the cane? huh?

Marcy: my mouth is open throughout this whole thing

i think puke is ready to come out

Mallory: hahahhahahaha she’s playing piano

Marcy: omg most random ever

Mallory: omg flood!!! blood!!! wtf! did the piano stab her?

Marcy: yes

Mallory: wtf!!!

Marcy: ew. ugh. whatever.

Mallory: omg is this a jesus thing?

Marcy: im super confused

Mallory: with the lights and shit

Marcy: and disgusted

When she accepted her award from Eminem & Tracy Morgan:

Mallory: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

 WTF IS SHE WEARING

 OMGGGGGGG

Marcy: OMG OMG OMG

Mallory: LAUGHING SO HARD

 Marcy: SO MUCH LAUGHTER

Mallory: CAPS LOCK

Marcy: OMG OMG

Mallory: AHHHHHHH HOLY SHIT

Marcy: WTF WTF

Mallory: WHERE IS HER FACE?!??!!

Marcy: hahahahahahahahahaha gaga dont wear an outfit u cant control

Mallory: i love how she said she loves her fans and they showed some gay dude

btw kermit was her date

Marcy:  i cant believe she got to make out with alexander skarsgard

my goodness

Mallory: life is not fair

 

Random:

Mallory: Marcy

 i have one main concern

 where is the new moon trailer?

——————————————-

Mallory: where’s jayz and new moon? wtf i was promised all this stuff

Marcy: hahahahahahahahaha wait vma lady is saying stuff. 7 min? what? this isnt over???

Mallory: what

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhh

Marcy: i feel like throwing up

Mallory: this is such shit

Marcy: why has the vmas made me feel so nauseated

——————————————

Marcy: when is this show over over over over

omg i thought this show was over after jayz

Mallory: my heart is now full

of stupid

and it’s not over? how is not over?

Marcy: its never going to be over

and im too lazy to get up and get the remote

The End.

PS: Check out Metro NY’s great article on how Janet Jackson’s tribute to her brother was also a tribute to the end of  MTV being an actual music television station.

PPS: Kanye’s lame apology to Taylor. And in case you haven’t seen it, though I doubt that’s possible, watch the incident.

PPSS: Please don’t send us angry comments about how we “insulted” Lady Gaga & Madonna. We hope that most of our readers realize at this point, we just have good fun mocking stuff.

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